“It’s been the regulation three days since our first date,” JJ told Rail! Entertainment, “but Laura still hasn’t called after I wooed her with peanut butter n’ jelly with root beer. It was the best meal I had in weeks, so I don’t know why she hasn’t called yet.”

“It wasn’t any root beer either, this was high caliber stuff,” JJ added. The kind you get in a bottle for two bucks. I didn’t hold anything back. Organic wheat bread, jam made from real fruit, and freshly crushed peanuts, like I think some authentic, hairy Greek chick smashed them and everything with her feet. It was far beyond nine yards; this is like, the drive home.”

“Everything went perfect,” JJ said, “I cleaned all the stains off the card table. I borrowed a couple of lamps and replaced the light bulbs I burnt out. I even brushed off the crates I was using for chairs. To be honest, I’m getting a little concerned. She was in a big hurry when she excused herself; I’m hope she didn’t get in an accident on the way home.”

“Oh man, you should have heard the music I was playing. I was blasting the new Deathklok album,” JJ said. “It was that song about going into the depths of the ocean and dying. At one point, I was so into the song I jumped up on the table and started stomping on the paper plates, I really got a chance to show her how much the arts affect me.”

“I don’t know, it’s a bummer blowing five bucks on a date just to find out you won’t get anything out of it.” JJ said. “But that’s how the game is played. Sometimes a player dies and you need to use another guy. As long as the continue screen keeps coming up, you gotta’ say yes. Like Deathklok says, 'there are always more mermaids to murder.’ But maybe I’ll give her a call back this weekend, just to make sure she made it home okay.”

JJ met Laura at a local grocery store shortly after the interview, after a short exchange Laura said she’d call him again later. However, she has yet to.