Rail Entertainment is committed to producing stuff that might make you laugh. Should you happen to not laugh, we’ll cry for hours on end and stuff ourselves with ice cream until we don’t have feelings anymore. We hate our staff, in fact, we think of them as family and hope to one day get as far away from them as possible. Each is an individual who probably isn’t as talented as that guy who can’t change your oil at the shop that does nothing besides change oil.

Now we’re seeking to add another bundle of heart crushing responsibility into our staff as our current writer is being aborted upon the completion of this article. Pretty much anyone who can use a word processor and hates the world enough to kill it with laughter will be not paid for this job.

As a member of our team, you’ll pretty much be working by yourself, writing articles that will be put online and read by a phantom number of people. This position will be responsible for so much, that one day you’ll probably be killed in a knife fight by a disgruntled web host who isn’t wearing pants.

Qualifications:

• Writes in English
• Has recently gotten out of a bad relationship and now seeks block out intense sorrow with anything else.
• Think that Bob the Ball cartoon is so awesome, you’d kick yourself in the face with a hammer if you said something bad about it.
• Ability to work through tough deadlines that will never be established
• A Masters of Science/Arts in Literature or Physics
• Strong Hatred for Astronomers
• Unexplainable lust for Steven Colbert

Rail! is an Equal Opportunity employer - Even though we never actually ask about your race, color, or sex nor see it.