To: Billy Bob Joe Smith
KNTRY Radio

Mr. Smith,

I am a member of PACM (People Against Country Music), a local Christian organization. Heavy metal music and "Gangsta" rap have been proven to promote violence, suicide, and drug addiction, but the greater threat to our society has been ignored: Country music. To make a better life for the planet and our children, we must remove country music from the airwaves. We believe that it promotes alcoholism, adultery, domestic violence, suicide, and illiteracy. It must be stopped at its source: The radio station.

There are countless country songs that refer to drinking, and we're not talking about a glass or two of wine, either. These country singers drink to the point of suicidal depression, possibly one drink away from severe alcohol poisoning. Then they sing about it. Is it a coincidence that most southern bars play country music? This is how the manufacturers of alcoholic beverages sell their products. The manufacturers make deals with country musicians to write music that makes people want to get drunk. That's how these "fat cats" make millions while the American people poison themselves. It is obvious that country music has something in it that makes people consume vast quantities of alcohol. We believe there may be subliminal messages under the steel guitars and fiddles. Our studies will prove this eventually.

Alcoholism caused by prolonged exposure to concentrations of country music can lead to marital problems and divorce. Men who listen to country music on a daily basis tend to ignore their spouses in order to engage in selfish pursuits such as fishing, hunting, drinking, or fighting. They begin to think of their wives as "The bitch who won't let me watch NASCAR". Women who are exposed to country music tend to be a little louder and wilder than the average woman. They also eat lots of grits.

Country songs come in two flavors: "Sad" or "Happy". Which is the greater threat? The "Sad" country songs generally cause the listener to become depressed and/or suicidal. Sometimes, if the song is 75 percent sad, the listener becomes apathetic or just plain mean. When the country song is "Happy", the listener tends to become "rowdy" and "violent". "Bubba Shot the Juke Box" is a good example of a "Happy" country song that may promote violence - specifically, the use of handguns. Combined with the amount of alcohol required to listen to country music (A minimum of five 16 oz. drinks), serious injuries and/or death may occur.

We have also found a link between country music, the current gasoline shortage, and pickup trucks. We all know that pickup trucks produce at least twice the amount of carbon monoxide as a mid-sized automobile. They also require two to three times as much gasoline as a car. A large pickup truck is only necessary in a work environment, such as construction or carpentry, so why are there so many pickup trucks on the roads in the south? This is because Ford hired country singer Alan Jackson to do a commercial for them. Originally, Mr. Jackson sang about a Mercury, but now he sings about a Ford truck. In the commercial, he sings, "I'm gonna buy me a Ford truck and cruise it up an' down the road." In reality, he may as well be singing, "I'm gonna buy me a Ford truck to pollute the environment and deplete our oil reserves." He also changed the lyrics of "Gone Country" to "Ford Country". Mr. Jackson influences people so well by the subliminal messages in his music, that people who have seen that commercial have bought Ford trucks even if they couldn't afford them! Many people in the south believe that Alan Jackson is a god, so they do what they are told. It is believed, however, that if you remove his cowboy hat, he loses his hypnotic powers.

You, as the manager of a radio station, have a responsibility to your listeners. Do you want them to suffer this plague so that you and your sponsors can line your pockets with cash? Do the right thing, and remove this filth from the airwaves before it affects the entire country. It may be possible to wean your listeners from country music by inserting commercials and easy listening music between the country songs, until the blessed day when we achieve our goal. We know that it will be difficult, and your listeners may abandon you, and you will most likely lose your job, but I'm sure, that in your heart, you know that this is the right thing to do. Contact me if there are any questions.

Sincerely,

Bob Jones
People Against Country Music